Leaked Minneapolis F.B.I. Report on Anarchist Gathering in Powerhorn Park

February 16th, 2009

Report on Anarchist Gathering in Powerhorn Park

As instructed by my commanding officer, I coordinated surveillance during an anarchist gathering today in Powderhorn Park, in the South Minneapolis area.

A group of approximately 10 individuals, all known members of local anarchist organization "The RNC Sayonara Committee" confirmed by the Minneapolis F.B.I. Anarchist Infiltration Division-South (MN-FBI-AIDS), began gathering in the park around 12:30. Literature distributed prior to the meeting suggested the event would start at 12PM sharp, but members of the group were overheard using known FBI-AIDS-verified codewords, "revolution... slept in" to indicate that some of the members arrived late as they were involved in preparing what your affiant has identified as anarchist weaponry prior to the event.

Pictured below, one anarchist female can be observed utilizing two links of chain in a clearly threatening manner obviously intended to be deployed as a weapon at protests to intimidate, injure and kill members of the police department.

The purpose of the event had been described in literature as "training for the coming revolution" and involved the group, which later swelled from the initial 10 members to around 15 members, utilizing common objects found in a park to construct weapons known in anarchist circles as "snowballs" (see evidence photo #52793-44B-36 below).

Thanks to a surveillance microphone placed in the collar of one of the group's trained Canine Black Bloc unit (see below), your affiant was able to hear most of the discussion from the Joint Operations Center located in the FBI-AIDS field submarine that had been moved under the frozen lake last night (see FBI-AIDS Resource Request #52793-44B-SUB dated February 14th, 2009). A photo of the anarchist dog appears below.

We were able to capture images of the event directly from members cellphones thanks to new interception equipment purchased with a $1 million grant from the Federal Government for this important National Security Special Investigation (NSSI). Below, the gathering at the beginning of their training session.

FBI-AIDS has obtained transcripts of the conversation via surveillance. We were unable to actually record the conversations (see earlier FBI-AIDS Resource Request #52793-44B-TAPE-RECORDER denied due to a lack of department funds for the $50,000 device) but your affiant can testify that they were heard by four FBI-AIDS agents and written down by myself.

Much of the event seemed to be concerned with the teaching of what have been recognized by F.B.I. analysts to be ninja fighting moves (see below for intercepted cellphone images of one training session), and further tactical training was observed that utilized the natural geography of the park and symbolic locations that the anarchist group described as "forts".

It was additionally noted that the use of snowballs (which as we have previously learned are anarchist training tools used to represent molotov cocktails, due to the close similarity in appearance of the two objects) may have included elements of animal feces and urine (see example pictured below held by what is believed to be anarchist ringleader Joe "Yusef" Robinson, an out-of-town anarchist ninja expert believed to have links with known terrorist weapons factory, Mustafa's Felafel Factory on Lake Street, who has been observed training groups using the covert snowball strategy on several prior occasions.

It is believed that the park was chosen as a location for this training because of the easy proximity to this fecal matter, and from inspecting snowballs used in the urban guerilla training exercise after the event via the sense of smell, your affiant Tony Stomac was able to identify animal fecal matter from at least three separate breeds of dog, including pit bulls, doberman pinschers, and German Shepherds.

With additional investigatory help from joint operation partner Sheriff Boob Feltcher, who additionally employed techniques previously utilized successfully by the Ramsey County Sheriff's Department, including tasting the snowballs, we were able to identify a further two breeds of dog—chihuahua and dachshund.

Your affiant noted the presence of one of the "RNC 8", Eryn Trimmer (above center), at the secret camp in the public park. Trimmer is currently being charged by the FBI with two felony counts of terrorism for publicly stating to another anarchist in his living room during the Republican National Convention that he had "considerable moral qualms about the direction of the Bush Administration... you know... as far as I can figure it out... but I'm prepared to be wrong about that".

We believe that Trimmer is in the process of forming a breakaway, solo anarchist group which is known in internal anarchist circles as the "RNC 1/8th". We have installed microphones in his home and place of work in order that FBI-AIDS can charge him with one further count of "conspiracy", in the event we catch him talking to himself.

The event concluded with a secret briefing (see evidence photo below). At this point, the transcripts are somewhat sketchy due to the anarchist black bloc dog scratching himself repeatedly, which caused the microphone to malfunction. Despite this transient technical difficulty, we were able to see members of the group handing each other what they code named "prizes" at the conclusion of the event. We believe these to be orders to carry out operations deemed threatening to the State of Minnesota and the public at large.

One "prize" was identified via telescope as a gift card for known anarchist meeting spot, the Black Dog Cafe in Lowertown, St. Paul, which your affiant notes has excellent Monday pizza deals and daily happy hour from 4pm to 7pm, clearly designed to encourage these illegal gatherings.

Most interestingly, during the course of this investigation, it was noticed that participants practiced "jail breaking" techniques (see jail evidence photo below) and your affiant is already in the process of notifying local incarceration facilities to expect escape and breaking in attempts.

Training was also offered in interrogation resistance, with groups of anarchists playing the part of jailers, while other groups played the part of prisoners. Your affiant overheard some of these exchanges, including the taunt, "Yo Coldsnap, aren't you supposed to be getting people out of jail rather than getting put into jail yourself?!".

Observers from the National Lawyers Guild and street medic organizations were also visible at the event.

Your affiant will continue to investigate future anarchist gatherings as instructed.

[ends]